@SunflowerLeila mentioned our new site on Twitter, and it gave me an idea:
Anxiety Gremlins, of course! A subset of monsterkind that very much deserves its own post. Here are some thoughts on Anxiety Gremlins.
An Anxiety Gremlin’s favourite words are “what if”.
- What if no one shows up?
- What if they don’t get it?
- What if she gets angry?
- What if I don’t succeed?
- What if I’ve forgotten something important?
As you may know, not all monsters like cookies, and you should always be wary whenever someone makes sweeping generalisations about what to do with your monsters. They are yours, and therefore unique to you.
Even so, here’s a sweeping generalisation for you: what most Anxiety Gremlins need is comfort, and comforting.
Sometimes it’s useful to simply answer their “what if” questions to put them at ease.
- Well, then I will have to try something else.
- Well, then I will try to explain, and give her some space if she needs it. She’ll come around.
If the Anxiety Gremlin knows you have thought of what can go wrong, and come up with a back-up plan, they may quiet down a bit. Bonus: you now have a back-up plan.
Comforting and Comfort
Simply sitting with them and comforting them may also be useful.
- I know you’re scared, sweetie. I’m sorry this is all so scary. I’m here to listen. Tell me.
If you’re looking forward to a scary situation in the future, maybe some kind of test, or a confrontation of some kind, trying to give your gremlin a sense of comfort can help, especially if you can take that sense of comfort into that situation.
Ask your gremlin what would make it more comfortable. Maybe it would like pillows and blankets. Maybe it would like a jedi-cloak, or a cheer-leading team, or simply a hot water bottle. Since your gremlin is imaginary, you can really give it whatever it is that would help it experience a sense of comfort.
Sit with your gremlin and its comforting thing for a while, and allow it to hang onto it when it’s time to do your scary thing. At least one of you won’t be freaking out as much.
Comforting and comfort. What do you do to comfort (parts of) yourself?
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Thank you for this!
Just what I needed to read today, when the as-yet-unnamed Anxiety Gremlins were having a bit of a stir.
You are so right! They do want comfort. And plans. THEN they can listen to other stuff.
But not first. Nope. Comfort. Plans. Then Other Stuff! They seem to be Quite Opinionated as to that order. And quite Unanimous to boot!